dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
