Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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