i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
