now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
