Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
