no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
