my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
3pm strippers are depressing
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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