i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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