do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
and she was petting her beer can
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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