I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
