I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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