Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
