I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
