Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
