My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
