playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Randomize
