Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
how drunk are you?
Several
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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