He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
