so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
