My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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