Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She announced her abortion via fbk
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I understand Curling. That high.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
