They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
