you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
