I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
