Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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