I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
