wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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