You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I don't deserve a penis
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
