Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
