yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
