mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
