Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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