U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
