The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
