i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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