Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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