would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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