brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
