My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
