I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just googled if crying burns calories
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
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