so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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