Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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