I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
