just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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