i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
