i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
