i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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