Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
