Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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