Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
that is very illegal...i love you.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
